Multidimensional Love

I want all of you here
Need to fill this whole space with you.
Your gentle smile with me
Hundreds, thousands of you alone.

My love earns faceless CEOs
their salaries. You live here on your own,
no one else takes your spot,
but I take you out for dinner.

I fill myself with you.
Are you me? Do I want to be
you? Is this love more pure,
because it just gives, never asks.

Unobtainable Woman

Iridescent rainbows frame your face,
refracted through a plastic water bottle.
Your little frown adds to your grace,
rested on my desk, so you don’t topple.

To adorn you with bows and my love
I dream of taking up a craft for you,
to make a piece, that reminiscent of
my adoration humbly courses through

your seams. Your plastic smell evaporates
from your adventures in the bleeding heart;
lady-in-a-bath investigates
croissants from cans without art.

I hope you have enjoyed your rest
with my friend on your quest.

Poor Minotaur

Ⅰ
Hunger encroaches you,
darkness lunges towards you,
in your own alienated home.

Ⅱ
You scrape by on unlucky souls,
nourishing yourself
on their nightmares.

Ⅲ
Their ghostly forms
almost fade away.
You can’t do it. Not this time

Ⅳ
Arbitrary violence breaks
the ceiling, the floor,
the vase, the peace.

Ⅴ
There is no before,
no point of return.
You carry on. You yearn.

The Importance of Personal Connection in Language Learning or something

Mother’s favourite
bicycle and umbrella;
words she remembers.
We are playing telephone
to request scrambled eggs.

Je suis désole,
I only recognise you
through someone else’s voice.
I never took French classes,
??????

Hopscotch

Soaring with praise,
  One,
    Two,
you are good at jumping, then
the impact.

Are you alright?
What is truly memorable is the whimsy,
soon you will forget about the knee brace
and your laptop in bed.

Is love not better than admiration?

Pygmalion and Galatea

was a story that touched me
in ninth grade Latin—
source of vexation
in Frankenstein analysis.

To love something so, so much
it is made not just
by you, but for you.
I learned to love it again

through the lens of teen hubris,
the one, perfect form
unconditional
love could ever take for me.

Sometimes good art occurs in gacha games designed to
give 20 year-old fujoshi a gambling addiction.

Nameless Doll

It's a small world after all
crackling unrecognizable through the weary speakers.

Uncanny, but filled with love,
your soft doll body yields to touch after years of containment in a box.

If you're torn apart,
you could be made anew and gain a voice; alas what you have to say,
was always scorned by others.

Ode to my beloved Sky Rats

Adorned with feathered companions,
the church declares its symbol
of peace. But the contraption
is keeping the real thing humble.

Guarding our heart,
we scorn our brave companions,
valorise their sacrifices, the part
we imposed upon them.

It must be lonely on the streets,
Nothing but the weather
to reflect the sheets
of iridescent feathers.

Unrelated Poem

I want to cleanse myself
of owning
and relating.

Metall auf Metall
    deters other life forms

Loneliness
is louder
than shared spaces.
(that is alright, it fills the void)

Ritterburg 3666

Autobiography Speedrun Any%

I

If memory was infinite
I imagine I would remember
getting a squeaky cat toy
as a baby

II

I would revel
in people calling me tall;
my deep voice hasn’t changed
since I was 10

III

I would forget the sound
of my own voice.
…
Replace it with something else

IV

Pick and choose
who I want to be;
never before have I
discarded a fancy

Neverland

When I was excited about the prestige
of a Steiff teddy bear
my mother's friend thought I should be
playing with different things by now.

I pretended not to know;
watching movies about men
who stop being into model trains
to create a heterosexual family unit.

I displayed cheap toy cars in my room
a bunch of them realistic Smarts
(my mother's favourite car back then)
and I am told to stop pretending

(not that I was doing such a thing)
just how listening to Green Day did not fit me
(the most generic "I am 12" music at the time);
speaking and not speaking all alleged attempts

at cultivating an image
(I do not remember having this much agency)
and I long to be the man who can keep
his glow in the dark stars and train bedsheets

but the movies tell me I am a woman and
I have to stop caring about ponies
and start caring about boys
(but my boyfriend respects my plushies'
boundaries)

I am not sure

I am not sure I
believe in God but
I know that math
and geometry
are divine forces
and the coloured glass
and the small postcards
awaken something
when I look at them;

Just like my grandma
who doesn't remember
my name anymore
but she prays for us
every evening
because even if
she is losing her
memory she still
remembers our love;

I try to forget
unpleasant snippets
I had to go through
for Confirmation
all while arguing
if I'd go to hell
with R.E. teachers
who are unaware
it was me at all;

But the light refracts
just right on Mary's head
in the protestant
church against all odds
where she is simply
because people were
enamoured by her
anachronistic
and soft tenderness